Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Day I got over it.

It was November 2 2011. Yesterday in fact.

I didn't realize it as the day played out. It was only last night after I thought about the day that I realized everything is not Rett Syndrome. I am not a Rettmom. I'm Abby's Mom. She is not the girl with Rett Syndrome nor is her last name Rett Syndrome. She's my little girl and she's perfect.

Yesterday I volunteered for a field trip. I didn't know where we were going or what we would be doing but I knew they would need my help.

I never thought once about us getting on the short wheelchair bus while the other kids ran to the bigger buses. I didn't have to walk away and cry while the nurse hooked my 1st grader up to a feeding while 200 other 1st graders laughed and talked. I ate my lunch. Even when a group of girls asked if they could take Abby to their table. I just let her go.

When I noticed a toy store on the second floor of the place we were at I asked permission to go look while an aide kept an eye on Abby. I walked up to the second floor and I looked in the windows and I smiled at the children there. I looked at the isles of toys on the shelf and I didn't cry at all the stuff there would be no point in buying because she can't play with them anyway .I looked at the Tea Set and smiled.

We sat in a tiny theatre and watched a musical version of Horton Hears a Who. I sat on the floor next to her wheelchair...surrounded by 6 and 7 year olds and I enjoyed a play. I held my daughters hand and smiled and nodded at her when she looked at me in wonder.

Being surrounded on all sides by "typical" kids who can and do didn't rip my heart out. Does time really heal all wounds? Even this one? My daughter was just my daughter. She was Abby. Last night I cried myself to sleep with relief. Rett Syndrome may have a hold of my daughter's body but it does NOT HAVE CONTROL OF OUR HEARTS. Not anymore.

This year...come hell or high water...she will get that tea set for Christmas. I'll pour that pot for her and hold that little cup to her lips. I can't wait!

1 comment:

Cathy said...

Hi Terri.. I loved your post. So happy for you. I completely get it. Lately ive just enjoyed being Bella's mom, not trying to 'fix' her. Its a fantastic feeling to just enjoy our precious girls just the way they are. And yes get that tea set for your little darling.
XXX Cathy