Friday, March 11, 2011

Day off Paybacks

Yesterday I had a day off...Kinda

We agreed some time ago that if we were going to keep me from going absolutely insane that, from time to time, I would take a day off just for me.

I think that was about 3 years ago. At first we agreed to once a month...I had one that first year. Then we decided that it really should be twice a way we could swing once a week.

Yesterday I had my 3rd day off in 3 years...It was actually supposed to be on Wednesday but someone had to go to work. Then it was agreed for yesterday..then someone I will not name..who is on called in again. I had to go all Total Terri on him and we agreed..I agreed..that I could have the car while our little Princess was at school and just go be by myself, outside of the house.

I started with a fast food dollar Menu breakfast from Wendy's. YUK! Should have hit MCDonalds. I had planned on lunch but with the change of schedule we had to change movie times and I am far too cheap to eat at the movie theatre. Seriously my family jokes about it. I could have a thousand dollars in my pocket..I am not paying 5 bucks for a hot dog and another 5 for a soda. They make me have to pee anyway then I end up missing half the movie.

So, yes, I am one of those weirdo's that is sitting in a movie theatre all by themselves.

Saw The Adjustment Bureau. Ehh. It was a Matt Damon movie. Same ole..Sorry Matt. Anything else I wanted to see didn't start till 4 or 430 and I had to be home by then.( Can you just picture Matt all curled up in a ball in an office somewhere cause a middle aged manic depressive housewife from the Midwest said Same ole about his movie?) It's OK Matt. I'm sure you'll be OK. Here's a tissue.

I then crossed the highway to hit the all in one Barnes and Noble and Starbucks. OOPS my bad..did I mention I am being weaned off my anti anxiety/depression medicine to start a new one? So...sitting at the light I start to it when I do that it public. The car in front of me is half in the intersection at the 2nd most dangerous intersection in the city and the light starts flashing a yellow arrow. It all of sudden dawns on me I might not want to be out like this alone while weaning. I all of a sudden remember to breath and remember to focus and forget and drive on..Whew

So, I was looking for 2 books in particular. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I have been on this get over it and be happy and Look for GOD everywhere kick. Need to have to. I cannot rely on Meds and my bed to make it better anymore.

I found both and purchased them. I went over to the coffee shop and endulged in a carmel macheatto sp? and an Chocolate explosion cupcake...ohhhhh man! I opened up One thousand gifts and started to read. It only took a few pages to realize this was going to be the book I needed. I kept having to stop every few paragraphs to catch my breath but wow.

So Paybacks...I really did have a wonderful day. Sharing one car I rarely get out. Church on occasion anymore and every other week therapies. That's it...Come to think of it my house really should be cleaner than it is with all the time I spend in it.
I actually wore myself out yesterday between the med change and the alone time and actually got to go to bed early.

Fast Forward to midnight. Abby wakes up projectile vomiting. We have moved her bed into my room since the seizures started in hopes that I could rest easier and get to her quicker. She was shaky and quite PO'd. I have no idea if a seizure started the vomiting or if she just got sick...she feeds through the night with her Gtube. So she puked all over her bed,herself, me and my bed. That's what I get for taking a day off!

This will be my last blog on here about me. I have decided that I need a blog dedicated to me,myself and my endless ramblings. This blog really needs to be about Abby, Rett Syndrome and helping other families.

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