Saturday, February 5, 2011

Dear Diary Blog

Weird title. huh?

No not really. People that keep up with this blog know that I am all over the place with this space.

It has become my Dear Diary. My someone to talk to.

It started as a way for family overseas in Europe to be able to keep up...hoping they could find a translator and letting them share pictures without me actually having to have them developed and mailed. Technology has made me a very lazy individual.

It turned into a place for me to vent,inform new parents and advocate for Rett Syndrome.

Through this blog I can say things on my mind that the people in my life wont take a minute to listen to.

Strange that I have people on almost every continent that check in here daily. People from England,South Africa,New Zealand and Australia check in here almost daily. I sometimes wonder if I disappoint them when it's just me bitching and crying about the same ole thing over and over.

I say that because I have had 4 parents..each from a different continent take the time to personally email me about Abby this week. To just check on her and offer seizure advice.

I said back in August when my son turned 18 that I would no longer suffer or wonder why my family does not seem to care. I called them each on Monday to tell them of her seizure. I have not heard from any of them since. Not one phone call. Not one email. One sibling lives a mile away. My Mom lives 9 miles away.

When my son had his first seizure my parents and siblings arrived at the hospital half dressed in the middle of the night. The stood vigil with me for weeks. My son is normal. He just had fever seizures.

Every time my son fell off a bike or had to get a stitch they were all there. I don't even call anymore when Abby is in the ER or the Hospital. The last time I did...I cant even recall at this point why we were going but we were rushing her to the ER Mom said, " OK Take care."

So... Thank you to my readers. You have become my calm in the storm. My silent friends. That family member to just hold my hand while my heart is breaking.

In this life I have to be the tough guy. The one that takes care of everything and everyone. In this house and through the families I counsel all over the country.

It helps me tremendously to have a place to go and let it out

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