Sunday, September 13, 2015

Oh she acts just like you-Great! Where can I hide?

As I mentioned in my precious post Abby will be 11 soon and has just started the 5th grade. You know what that means?

Prepubescent attitude. Mood swings. General bitchiness..... Yah I said it, Deal.

So what do you do with a kid like mine who's getting too big for her britches? She cannot speak for the most part. She can't use her hands. She can't sit down by herself or climb in her own bed.  She can't go out with her friends or be left unattended. So taking away her phone she can't hold or speak into wouldn't work. She can't make it to her room on her own and if she did what would I do?  Can't take away anything from a kid that lives trapped in her own body .

So I guess I just let her be pissed and bitchy and deal with it right? Except here's the thing. She's mean. And brave. Just like a typical kid these days. There is no fear of consequence. In my day I was scared to death of my parents. I did what I was told or there were consequences. Bad ones. Typical parents just don't discipline these days so most of her peer models don't mind either. This kid....the one who has no purposeful hand use? She can  pull your hair out or snatch and eye ball with deadly, ninja like accuracy. I'm not gonna do it back . I do the full Ally Mcbeal visual of it though. Makes me feel better anyway.

The best move ? She bites. She is totally sneaky about it though. Even if she's not mad or being pissy. She loves to lean in for a snuggle and come back with a chunk of boob or arm. Leans in for a big wet kissy and bites your lip till it bleeds. Then her evil ass just smiles like,...."You're  welcome."

Ummm thanks?

I guess what I'd like to know from you other Special Needs parents is what do you do? I've tried taking away whatever show she is watching at the time and making her sit. I guess that's one of those stupid time out things the younger generations think works. Yah not so much. My kid doesn't wine and cry. She doesn't stomp her feet. She goes into full you have broken my heart I can't breath, self harm nuclear meltdown. Ever seen one of those puppies? Picture this...her eyes dart back and forth in a total panic...real fear. She starts to rock and tremor....I say tremor because it's not a nervous shake. Something closer to Suge knight is holding me upside down over a balcony type response . Then she screams and cries. Real tears as she hyperventilates and turns colors. Then she will drop and plank out like an abortion protester and start to pull her hair out and bite herself as if..hell I don't know.. Then she will get so upset she will vomit and choke, she is actually that she may die because I've turned off Dora or the Wiggles. There is nothing about it that appears like she's playing me.  I promise I don't say, "just for that I've set off a poison and turned off the oxygen in the room."

But you would think I'd said just that.

So I'm sitting here typing and she's sitting here next to me watching. Looking at the screen then looking at me...searching my eyes. I told her I was writing a blog about how bad she was. Faster than I could  take my next breath she rolled back, growled and kicked my right upside my head.


No seriously. Stop laughing and help me!

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